


i will love with urgency (but not with haste)

by hearden



Series: ranger lovefest [5]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers Turbo
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 17:52:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12325881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearden/pseuds/hearden
Summary: Sometimes, love is fleeting and only lasts for one night.





	i will love with urgency (but not with haste)

**Author's Note:**

> lovefest is the best thing that's ever happened to me y'all i am going to saturate y'all with so much kimkat that you'll be like "ryan stop it already" and my answer will be no i will never

She visits you for a weekend two months after you try to kill her.

No warning, just shows up at your apartment in Florida, knocking on your door near midnight on a Friday. Her hair is in a bun, and her pink sweater is a size too big for her, the sleeves covering her palms.

_ Hey, _ she says, smiling, and contagiously, you smile back,  _ I was hoping you weren't busy? We haven't had time to spend together in so long, and I wanted to take advantage of, you know, the peace and quiet. _

Her communicator glints on her wrist as she adjusts her bun, her sleeve falling down her arm.

_ Well, I'll have to tell Microwave Popcorn that I can't make our date tonight… _ you tease, grinning easily.

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head,  _ Oh, fine, I know when I'm not wanted. _

_ Aw, no, come on,  _ you hold your hand out to her, and she takes it, fingers warm in yours,  _ I always want you. _

You swallow the double meaning behind that and pull her inside.

 

-

 

She skims your movie collection and picks out enough to marathon until you both are tired, but you're unfocused and completely distracted. You don't even quite notice what you're watching halfway through the third movie. It's only when she pauses on a scene in a bar that you recognize it, but then, she pulls your attention away, anyway.

_ Where are you? _ she asks, and you furrow your brow.

_ I'm… here? _ you chuckle,  _ Where would I be? _

She tilts her head and stares at you, eyes searching, and you suddenly shy away, hunching your shoulders and shrinking into yourself.  _ I don't know, _ she says, shrugging,  _ But you were somewhere else just now. _

You don't answer, so she reaches over and places her hand on top of yours. There's a waiting moment where you expect a rush of pink electricity to fizzle between your fingers, but the moment passes and you're left slightly disappointed.

_ How are you? _

_ Do you want the honest answer or the answer you want to hear? _ you ask, pulling your hand away,  _ You have a life to get back to, Kat. _

A look of hurt flashes over her face, and she frowns,  _ I want to hear the honest answer. _

You shake your head and chuckle bitterly,  _ Buy me a drink first. _

Her brow furrows, and she nods to herself then gets up off of the couch. You miss her already the moment she stands.  _ What do you usually get from Ernie's?  _ she asks, chin held high, determined.

It's been a couple of years.  _ I just got a frosted strawberry lemonade last time, _ you say,  _ You know, after, uh.  _ You don't finish the thought, but she gets it.

_ Wait here,  _ she gives you a small smile then presses a button on her communicator and disappears in a flash of pink light.

 

-

 

_ I'm pretty sure this is using power for personal gain, _ you tease with a grin but take a sip from your lemonade, anyway, relishing how it cools you down, keeping the flames of Maligore at bay.

_ Zordon doesn't have to know, _ she says, laughing and drinking from her own mango smoothie.

You snort,  _ Zordon probably already knows. _ He probably does, but you also don't care anymore.

She tilts her head at you, stares curiously,  _ Does Zordon know how you're feeling? _

Closing your eyes to the jarring wave of guilt that crashes into you, you don't give her an answer but grip your cup a little tighter.

_ It's hard, _ she says, her voice breaking the silence,  _ You want to apologize for everything at the beginning. Things you've done wrong, things you've done right, things you could've done better, things that aren't your fault in any way at all. _

Immediately, you know what she's doing, and you make a move to get off of the couch and walk away,  _ Kat, don't-- _

_ Kim. _ She catches your wrist, and your skin burns. 

Her eyes are a soft blue, offset by the dark pink of her sweater, and she looks at you like she wants to save you, and you want to let her. God, you want to let her so badly.

 

-

 

You've finished your drink, but instead of getting a brain freeze, your body is hot, too hot. She holds your hand across the couch, and you feel like drowning.

_ It's stupid, _ you argue.

_ It's not,  _ she counters as if she's made the same argument with herself before, which she probably has. It makes you feel bad in a way -- that you're guilty over this when it wasn't even that  _ terrible. _ A voice in your head tells you that you're making a big deal out of nothing, that you don't have a good reason to be hurting so much.

It sounds suspiciously like your own, but an octave lower, raspy and guttural, turning your blood cold.

_ I shouldn't be feeling like this, _ you say, shaking your head and gripping her hand tighter,  _ You had it worse, Tommy had it worse. _

_ But I'm still sitting here, aren't I?  _ she squeezes your hand back,  _ I want to be here for you, Kim. _

 

-

 

She stays the night and sleeps on your couch. Borrows a pair of shorts to sleep in.

Your room is pitch black. Drawing the blinds fully closed to keep out the light has only been a thing that you've been doing since… well. Finding the way to your bed is like second nature to you.

Your sheets are cold, your room is cold. The thermostat is set to freezing, so you'd given Kat three blankets and a fluffy pillow.

The colder it is, the harder it is for fire to exist.

Still, he comes, in your nightmares, wrapping his claws around your throat, digging his way under your skin, setting your insides on fire, and you bolt awake in the darkness, screaming.

She's at your door in seconds, flinging it open, the soft glow of the hallway light illuminating your otherwise dark bedroom.  _ Kim, _ she starts, but you cut her off.

_ Don't. Please. _

She falls silent and fiddles with the hem of her sweater.  _ Do you want me to stay?  _ she finally asks.

You don't even hesitate.  _ Yeah, I want you to stay. _

Closing the door behind her, she disappears into the pitch blackness and stumbles to your bed, tripping over something on your floor in the process.  _ Why do you have books on the floor?  _ she hisses, groaning in pain,  _ You have a fully functional bookshelf. _

_ Guess I've gotten lazy, _ you say, chuckling. Lazy's not quite the right word, but she knows what you mean.

Her breathing gets closer, and the bed shifts as she climbs in. You scoot over, making room for her under the covers.

_ Your feet are freezing, _ she complains under her breath, so you touch her leg with your toes and she shrieks,  _ Kim! I can totally leave right now-- _

_ No, please, stay,  _ you can't help the desperate edge to your voice,  _ I'm sorry my feet are cold. _

_ I forgive you, _ she says, and even though you can't quite see her features, you can hear her smile. Then,  _ Do you want to talk about it? _

_ Absolutely not,  _ you reply without missing a beat,  _ I just… This is fine. _

_ Okay.  _ The pillow makes a crinkling sound as she shifts her head on it.  _ You really need to get warm.  _ She chuckles, and you hold onto that sound like a lifeline.

_ No. No, I really don't,  _ but she pulls you closer, anyway, and you don't resist. Her sweater is warm and cozy and home. You sigh softly and rest your head on her shoulder. You whisper and hope she doesn't hear,  _ He's gonna come back for me. _

Her grip around you strengthens,  _ I won't let him.  _ You shake your head.  _ No, listen to me, Kim, just listen to the sound of my voice. _ She takes a deep breath, and your chest caves in and rises with her,  _ I won't let him hurt you. I promise. _

She holds you and talks to you until you drift off, dreaming not of demons and fire, but of sunshine and golden angels.

 

-

 

You wake up the next morning in the darkness of your room, the blinds still completely drawn. The sheets are tangled around your legs, but immediately, you can feel that you're in bed alone without even opening your eyes.

_ Kat? _ you call out, knowing that she won't answer.

The silence is so deafening that your ears might burst.

Inhaling a sharp breath, you force yourself to get out of bed. If not for your own sake, then for hers because she believes in you, possibly more than you believe in yourself.

Your feet hit the cold, wooden floor, and you walk to the kitchen. One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other.

In the living room, sitting on the coffee table, is a piece of paper, folded into thirds and propped up. You pick it up and skim it, not expecting much.

_ I'm sorry I had to leave. Monster attack back in Angel Grove, _ it says,  _ I love you. _

Your chest tightens.

And, underneath,  _ Hold on. _

Hand shaking so hard that the piece of paper rattles, you toss it back down onto the table, and that's when you notice something else that hadn't been there last night. You blink -- maybe it's a figment of your imagination. But, maybe it's not.

You pick up the crane power coin and hold it between your thumb and index finger.

**Author's Note:**

> title from Not With Haste - Mumford & Sons
> 
> don't ask me how kat still has the crane power coin when it's destroyed ok like if pr doesn't care about continuity then neither do i


End file.
